“God Must Be A Democrat”(take this lightly its only poltical satire)

Note: This is a little piece of satire for all of us who have had to sit and listen to a horrible speech made by a republican.You can switch it for a democrat to suit your needs. By the way this is not a formal statement extending my belief that God is really a democrat. Please take this lightly and with a bit of fun hearted spirit.



As you pack yourself into the crowded Reagan Theater, with people from suits to tie-dyed shirts, you begin to think you’re going to hear just another “we can all be special” speech from a person who isn’t too special in the first place. Your mind slowly starts to brace itself for the next hour of brain numbing bored-ness. You can also see it on the other blank faces that fill the sea of disenchantment. Then your mind starts to try and trick it’s self into believing it can’t be to bad, it’s only an hour and that you can tough it out. Suddenly your shaken from your own despair by a loud voice stating “The Lt. Governor will just be a few minutes late”. Perfect, it’s not bad enough you’re going to suck my life out of me for the next hour but now you’re late? Again you start to drift off and begin to imagine how the other blank faces must be feeling, it’s obvious they can’t be much better off than you at this point.

The door opens and you’re brought back to reality and you see that Mr. Gary Herbert is now taking the stage after the shaking of the hands and the fake smiles are over. Now here it comes, the moment you were trying to escape for the last twenty minutes has arrived. Not only will this be pointless but also it has to be at least somewhat harmful to your health. He begins with the usual remarks of its nice to be here and some corny joke about why he was late, but you sense an extra plainness and vanilla-ness that even you wouldn’t have thought possible. Was it you or was everyone else feeling a little more cheapen by a not so inspirational, inspirational speech? He continues with the very poorly written speech that his press office had to have forgotten to proof read. All you hear now is the occasional “you are the future” and “you can make a difference” lines that all political folks like to feed you. More and more you think it has to be ending soon or is this some sad joke your political science professor is playing on you by asking you to attend for extra credit? You would now hope and pray that there was something at the end of this dark rainbow to make it worth it, that this cant be just for kicks. Is there a point or is this guy really an under cover torturer who gets off grinding college kids till they break?

“In closing I like to thank…”; no thank you for an hour worst than a public telethon on a Friday night. As the golf claps fade away and the crowd rushes the door, you start to think God must be a democrat for how could he let anyone go through that hell for an hour. While you walk out the door to sweet freedom the only question you have now is, which one is the big guy up the stairs pulling for, Hillary or Obama in the fall?